What the hell are NOFTs? |
Birdy NOFTs are pieces of digital art you can buy and collect. When you buy one, it may come with some sort of gift, as listed next to its price. The gift could be a physical item, like a book, or access to an activity, like a video conference, or something theoretically hilarious and trivial, like me promising to think about your feet. | |
Are these NFTs? |
No. | |
Do they exist on the blockchain? |
No. NOFTs are not part of Ethereum or any other blockchain. | |
Isn't that the whole point? |
No. | |
So if I buy one of your jpegs, how can I prove I own it? |
I will record your purchase on the block chain I keep in my tool shed. | |
What? |
 |
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I don't understand. |
You buy a Birdy NOFT. I send you the digital art file (and item/experience if one is included). I record your purchase on the piece of paper on my block chain. I stamp SOLD over the art file displayed on my site and also maybe do some childish scribbles on it just to make sure no one even tries to get crafty with it. | |
So my proof of ownership is written on a cinder block in your shed rather than on a zillion servers doing beep boop algorithm math code things? |
Correct. |
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Is this a joke? |
Is Bitcoin a joke? | |
But Bitcoin is a thing... like a real thing. I can buy a car with it. |
Nothing is worth anything and value is a shared agreement. | |
Huh? |
If you like the pretty drawings, buy one. If you like the gift or experience an NOFT unlocks, buy it. It's fun. This is fun. For you, for me. It's not a 401k. It's not a bag of gold bullion. It's not a way to retire. | |
What is "fun"? |
Mondays. | |
How many NOFTs are there? |
As of this moment, 36. But one day there could be 36 million. Or 37. | |
Why not just make Birdy NFTs? |
This is funnier, easier, and better for the Earf. Also, Birdy = No. |
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What's up with Birdy? I don't get it. |
Birdy was invented 20+ years ago as a parody of the mostly lame one-joke comic strips you'd find in newspapers. For example, his recurring "Mondays" gag is an obvious take on Garfield — way before Garfield Minus Garfield ever existed, btw. Birdy quickly evolved into something that is both high-brow absurdist and low-brow immature. | |
What are newspapers? |
Newspapers are cheaply printed, disposable collections of news articles, photographs, puzzles and illustrations. They were the No. 1 way to get information in the era when humans could go more than three seconds without looking at a screen. | |
Can I resell my NOFTs? |
No. | |
Can I merchandise my NOFTs? |
No. | |
Can I pet my NOFTs? |
Go for it. | |
What's your favorite color pony? |
Taupe. | |
Can I buy more than one NOFT? |
As a wise mon once said, "catch em all." | |
Do I need some sort of special digital wallet to store NOFTs? |
No. | |
If the digital file in the InterPlanetary File System is deleted, how can we guarantee the persistence of an NFT? |
Blockchain contract removal becomes transparent only under protocols one, two, three, four, five, everybody in the car, so come on, let's ride. | |
Why is 10 lonely? |
Because 7 ate 9. | |
Is there a point to life? |
No. |
